I had it all planned out.
I started the minute he left for work that morning having mentally practiced all the steps the night before while he was sleeping.
I dressed quickly and then dressed the baby and put her in her carrier.
Shaking and weak, but determined, I slid into the drivers seat of the car.
As I drove thru the neighborhood towards the highway I talked to my 10 day old baby daughter who was safely buckled into her carseat in the back. I wasn't supposed to be driving yet and I wondered... what would my mom say when she found out ? What would my husband say ?
I continued to talk to my daughter, feeling more confident as I drove. "We can do this" I told her. I wanted to surprise him. He was graduating in six months and I wanted him to have a college ring. I had been saving for months. As we pulled into the University Co-op parking lot I panicked ... realizing I did not know how to open her new stroller...all of these new steps, new gadgets, all of this planning that was required just to go to the store with a new baby...
and I had thought nothing was going to change..... just because I had a baby.
That was 18 years and 2 ring sizes ago....